I start my response in this way because I already see your eyebrow rising.
You probably wonder what I will teach you during this session.
And honestly?
I thought the same.
I started my visit to watch a football game at the stadium. My entire plan for the night included drinking beer while eating chips and enjoying peace. But her two redheaded daughters — both adults, eighteen and twenty, full of that “don’t try to shock us, we’ve seen the internet” confidence — sit down in front of me like they scheduled a TED Talk.
You can check the videos about cultural sexuality on our main page after this session. Don’t pretend you won’t. I know you. You know exactly where the button is.
Anyway.
I watched football on mute while thinking I was protected until I transformed into the “smart boyfriend” who needed to explain cultural sexuality.
A disaster waiting to happen.
I start by declaring “We will start our discussion by studying sexual practices which existed during ancient Greece.”
The first synchronized eye-roll happens immediately following my completion of speaking.
Dialogue #1
— “Seriously?Greeks again?”
— “Got anything better?”
— “We’ll let you know.”
You can hear the playful tone in their voices as they challenge me to continue.
You should avoid smiling at this moment because you understand the situation perfectly.
I continue my explanation about ancient Greece. “The people of Ancient Greece openly displayed their sexual activities. The city of Athens operated as a public space which allowed people to freely show their sexual expressions. The city of Athens during night hours presented itself as a more exciting destination than Vegas does during Sunday.
They giggle.
I pretend I’m not flattered.
(Yeah, I know how that sounds.)
The Greeks treated sexuality as vital as olive oil in their everyday existence. Necessary. Daily. Everywhere. Not taboo.
А ты думал, что будет иначе?
Nope. That’s how it was.
Okay, fine, they’re warming up.
Time to escalate.
I suggest we explore Japanese sexuality during the Edo period.
The two daughters maintain the same level of interest which matches how cats track a laser beam.
The Japanese people during the Edo period chose to publish their sexual content through illustrated books which modern sex manuals find embarrassing to display.
Dialogue #2
— “Books?Like… books-books?”
— “Yes. Hand-drawn. Published.”
— “So basically early OnlyFans?”
— “A very artistic one, yeah.”
I managed to maintain my composure but I couldn’t help laughing to myself at that moment.
I understood the idea so I started laughing immediately.
You can verify the accuracy of my statement by searching for “shunga” on Google.
No, really.
Just maybe not at work.
I move my discussion to India.
“You’ve heard of the Kama Sutra, right?”
Their eyes widen.
I also feel the same way because I understand now what I have gotten myself into.
I decide to continue my explanation despite the situation.
“India treated sexuality as a science. A philosophy. An art. The authors discussed how pleasure and connection and eye contact and touch and energy create a positive experience. Modern dating applications fail to create meaningful conversations yet India developed detailed knowledge about relationships during that time.”
Dialogue #3
— “Have you read it?”
— “Skimmed.”
— “Uh-huh. Sure.”
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
I studied enough material to understand that half of the world population needs to learn from those chapters.
Ты действительно верил что это был сложный процесс?
А вот и нет.
It was normal. It was human. It was open.
Okay, fine.
They’re fully invested now.
Their mother passes through the hallway while she acts like she doesn’t see them but the girls maintain a frozen expression as if I have revealed a secret.
I will discuss European culture in the following section.
I declared with drama that France handled sexuality through a fashion-like approach which combined elegance with confident and purposeful expression.
Cue the smirks.
The room atmosphere resembles candlelight with wine while people speak in hushed tones using their French accent to make their words seem deep.
Seduction needed the same amount of preparation as a dance performance.
You probably think France has evolved since then.
And guess what?
А вот так оно и устроено.
It really hasn’t.
The following destination will be Scandinavia.
The region known as Scandinavia handles sexuality through the same method as flat-packed furniture assembly.
I explain to them that the Nordics maintain a practical approach to life while being efficient and comfortable with nudity similar to Italians with their arguments.
The younger daughter almost spilled her juice when she heard my statement.
People in those countries experience sauna sessions as a special wellness practice which involves sitting naked with unfamiliar people whom they consider to be part of their wellness experience.
I mean… respect.
The “шовчик” here lost his train of thought when the older daughter asked him about his cultural background and sexual education.
“So what’s your culture like?How did you grow up understanding sexuality?”
I respond to her question by saying “Uh… confused, mostly.”
They burst out laughing.
I explain to them that nobody provided any guidance about sexuality during our time. No guidebooks. No openness. The situation consists of baseless rumors together with substandard films and excessive fear reactions.
You should have noticed that most problems stem from people not receiving proper explanations about sexuality.
А вот так оно и есть.
Alright, выдыхаем.
Back to the point.
Human sexuality received different cultural approaches from various societies.
— Some celebrated it
— Some documented it
— Some restricted it
— Some treated it as sacred
— Some as pleasure
— Some as philosophy
You will not accept the fact that every society believes it possesses the standard way of life.
Every culture believes their way of living represents the normal human experience.
But there is no “normal.”
There’s only context.
The statement seems unusual to you.
But it’s true.
The girls request my explanation about which cultural approach to sexuality works best.
Dialogue #4
— “So which culture is the best?”
— “For what exactly?”
— “You know.”
— “I’m not answering that.”
— “Coward.”
I will not join this discussion because I recognize how it could develop into hazardous material.
You wouldn’t either.
Не делай вид, что ты этого не делаешь.
The football match ended while my beer grew warm and I became the person who possessed knowledge about various subjects.
You are sitting there right now thinking about what lessons you should learn from this experience.
Simple.
Cultures change.
Sexuality evolves.
Society needs to maintain open dialogue about sexuality because this will lead to better health for all people. No shame.
No fear.
No pretending.
The main page of our website contains all the information about how different cultures expressed themselves.
You cannot hide your interest in this subject.
